So you’re flipping channels, late at night. News…flip, flip…late show…flip, flip…cartoons…flip, flip…low budget horror flick. Just as your finger is inching towards the channel button, you see — wait for it — David Copperfield. WTF? Okay, just for curiosities sake, now you gotta watch. You’re hooked. Sit back and enjoy the indiscriminate slaughter of a motley collection of fairly unlikeable college kids by the requisite lunatic in ever changing masks & costumes. I must admit, it was novel to see Groucho Marx off a monk. It didn’t hurt that a scream-queen era Jamie Lee Curtis was the designated survivor. And then there was David Copperfield. Seriously, WTF? As a bonus, bear in mind that at least one dude looks like a lady. Much like Forrest Gump, that’s all I have to say about that.
Not only is Elvis alive out there, so is JFK. Granted, Elvis can’t shake it like he used to, and JFK is currently a very nice old gentleman whose brain was removed & replaced with sand, but hey, you can’t have everything. If you haven’t watched these two team up to protect their east Texas nursing home from an evil mummy………well, you ain’t living. Bonus points given for the presence of Bruce Campbell. Hell, just his chin gets a half point.
Ahh, yes. The movie that gave us evil jawa slaves from a high gravity planet, created by & overseen by a Tall Man in a mortuary. This one taught us how to break out of locked rooms in a few easy steps using tape, push pins, shotgun shells, & hammers. It also gave us good reasons to really, really fear silver christmas tree balls. To this day, you ain’t gonna find any silver balls on my tree.